I am not what I refer to as a squishy person. I love my friends and family but I do not openly show my love in a squishy way except with my kids. I squish them all day! I grew up in a family of non-squishy people. My family is not cold but less affectionate than some. I have thought about it and often wished I was different.
Recently I reconnected with a relative that I didn’t see regularly throughout my life. She embodied all the squishy love I wish I had. She is an amazing example of love and warmth. I have watched her, or studied her if you will. Her hugs are filled with so much love that you can feel them in your soul. She hugs with a warmth and love that is different than I have known before. My daughter, who is often indifferent to people, has formed an incredible bond with her and it has opened my heart.
I view things in a different way than I did before. My grandmother passed recently. She was not squishy, but she was special. I was left feeling sad and helpless. Helpless because my mom needed me and I knew I needed to be squishy, even if she didn’t want me to. I needed to hug her with the same love and warmth I had felt from my aunt even if my mom didn’t want me to. She needs me to. She is an incredible mother, grandmother, wife, daughter, sister and so much more. I want her to feel it to the depth of her soul. I want her to feel all of my love and support through one squishy hug. I want her to know I am by her side. I want her to know she raised a strong, powerful, supportive and squishy daughter that loves her.
I am on my way to see her as I write this with tears in my eyes. I have been this way for the last few days. I don’t often share my squishy feelings. I kind of stink at it. I just wanted everyone to know I can’t wait to squish my mama!